Detour City

Guess what?  We are still on hold, waiting for someone to do something so that we can proceed from A to B or in our case we are on about S to T!  I went in for my pelvic scan last week finally and my uterine fibroid is a little over 10 centimeters.  Now I am waiting on my ob-gyn to call me back.  I tried to schedule an appt. but the appointment lady would only take a message since they had probably not received the scans yet (I'm calling BS, I know they were probably emailed the very next day!).  Anyway, so after I hear from her we can find out if she wants to have it removed or what?

In the meantime, I decided to take care of some dental work I had postponed in case I had gotten pregnant.  I had had a tooth pulled last November right before my first egg donor cycle (Sucks getting old, I'm telling you!  Talking about having babies and teeth pulled in the same sentence!)  So I went in yesterday to finally get the implant put in so that my dentist later can put a new cap on it.  Not fun, but I like checking off things on my list.

So that is where we are at.  I go to my support group tomorrow night, so it will be nice to see how everyone else is progressing since my own agenda has been put on hold.  Hopefully I will hear and learn something soon.

Treading Water

I can tell I've been floundering.  I feel flat, like a pancake on the sidewalk.  And I feel all the heavy traffic rolling on top of me.  I feel like I can barely lift my arm to take action on anything.

We are waiting right now (imagine that!) for my period to start.  I am on day 33 and I'm usually a 24-26 day cycle.  I'm assuming it is my body adjusting to all of the hormones I have been on continuously since last summer starting with the birth control pills and most recently all of the drugs to prepare for my embryo transfer.  But part of me is wondering if something else is going on.

I had a mammogram last Friday.  I ran home and took a pregnancy test just in case before I left for the appointment.  I didn't expect a BFP in the least... just needed the reassurance that if by some ironic twist of fate we were pregnant that I didn't accidentally harm the baby by getting an x-ray.  DH asked me last night again if I thought we were pregnant and I said absolutely not. 

I actually think I just ovulated last week.  I had tons of eggwhite CM last week and so I think my body just had a late ovulation.  So hopefully AF will arrive in the next 2 weeks.

But it did mean I had to cancel our March 6 FET since I needed my cycle to start again by Feb. 1 in order for that to work. 

Which means we are delaying into a late March transfer perhaps.  My first thought was, "a christmas baby!"  We already have 2 of us in my family celebrating birthdays that crazy week or so, my sister on Dec. 21 and me on Jan. 3.  There are definite pros and cons to a birthday lumped together with Christmas.  Since I have the choice, do I want to do that to my child?

But the more realistic part of me is saying... 'I'm getting older, DH is getting older, let's get this bun in the oven as fast as possible... who cares when it is born?'  The other, more cynical side of me is saying, 'it probably won't work anyway.'  Hard to be hopeful on many days.  It has never worked before, why work now?

So... usually in the land of IF we don't want AF to start.  But in my crazy, upside down world however, today we do!